People often asked why I used tuning forks when doing Reiki. I'm a Nikola Tesla enthusiast so I'm a big believer in the scientific & spiritual aspects of energy, frequency & vibration. If you are too then you might've watched What The Bleep Do We Know or read The Hidden Messages In Water where Dr Emoto gives an example of what happens when a tuning fork resonates with another tuning fork with the same (hertz) frequency-- they vibrate simultaneously... because it's triggered by outside stimuli resonating at the same frequency.
What if we were to apply this to the good vibes & bad vibes of others? It seems easier to simply blame or praise others for triggering us, but sometimes they're just triggering what's already there, hiding beneath the surface, even if we can't see it. Just like the tuning fork, to the naked eye, we can't really see it vibrating but when placed in water, we can see its response. & because the human body is made up of around 65% water (our blood plasma contains 92% consisting in over 55% blood volume & our muscles are over 70% water)would that suggest that the The Rice or Water Experiment or the The Plant Experiment suggests that to be the case? However, most impressive is the Italian Winery that plays classical music for their grapes. It's no secret that grapes do not have ears to hear the music itself, but scientists are stating that it's the music's frequencies causing them grow larger, faster & with higher nutritional value. There have now been many studies on the relationship between classical music & people, as well as music & plants. If you are a fan of Nikola Tesla, then you might also be aware of another one of his quotes about energy: "If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, & vibration." & now scientists have found the proven benefits of listening to music & sound healing.
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Were you ever feeling down but then you decided to treat yourself to those new shoes, that chocolate ice cream, that new book you’ve been wanting etc.. & then you suddenly felt better? If so, say hello to dopamine! Most of us don’t have much of a desire to learn about the behind-the-scenes process of the chemical reactions of the brain but I encourage you to get familiar with the basics of just this one. Here’s why:
When my daughter was around 6 years old, I read a book called The Female Brain by Dr Louann Brizendine. I took away so much from it, that I made the decision to gift it to her when she turned 16. In fact, I was hoping that it would make its way into schools, if only for health classes. It was one of the most insightful reads for me at the time, & not just because of my background, but because it’s filled with a ton of information about how the female brain operates. Because of other great works like hypnosis, meditation, listening to music & dancing- we’re very much familiar with our ability to rewire the brain. But this book focuses primarily on the hardwiring of the brain & the scientific role that plays in how brain chemicals differ in women. Sometimes, attractions can’t be explained on a rational level, & what then seems or feels like irrational, ends up being scientific in nature. For example, take this study, where after you first kiss someone, a surge of dopamine gets released into your body mimicking the same feeling & firing up the same parts of the brain in the same way as someone that was using cocaine. Symptoms include: (although, short-term) loss of appetite, sleeping disturbances, addiction, obsession, etc. Yikes! & that's just from a kiss. You might be trying to work, or sleep, or study, or eat but your body (following the commands of your brain) is like nope. To compliment that, the scientists at HeartMath discovered that the auric field surrounding the heart was measured to be more powerful than the brain's, & also acts as a command center. This is where worlds collide. Meet Dr Brian Weiss. He was a traditional psychiatrist running a general practice until one day, during a regression with his patient, he realized she was recalling things from a “different time.” Many Lives, Many Masters is definitely worth the read. & while she ended up with the guy from her past life connection, soul ties are not just about Cinderella stories that finds her prince & hops on the horse & rides off into the sunset. Some soul ties can be very messy. Some past life lovers show up because there's unfinished business, unresolved feelings, desire to reconnect (but during “bad" timing), an overall call for healing or just to incarnate as part of a soul tribe but not to be together this lifetime, etc.. It can seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t need to be.. once you have the awareness you can identify it & decide what you’re going to do about it. For some, it can be so powerful that there is actually a detox for it. & in our dopamine addicted society- kissing might seem very minuscule compared to other things that can fire up the pleasure centers, but it’s equally as effective. This can be especially challenging because the brain says yes, the heart says yes, but the mind says no. It judges, analyzes & decides ‘this is a bad idea’. As we already know, the brain & the mind are not always friends. But sometimes, you have to tell your brain to step aside & sometimes you have to tell your mind to settle down. & sometimes, even still, the brain & the heart create scenarios simply to bring things into the awareness for healing, learning & individual growth. As the Haruki Murakami quote says, "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." With the right tools we can learn how to subside, minimize or alleviate the effects of our emotional pain. Recovery of any kind, especially post-break up, is not only about submergence to avoid pain, it’s also about our ability to move through grief with the awareness that it's normal to feel like a detox (because it kind of is) & when we shift our perspectives with new awareness, we no longer need to suffer from self-judgment about what that grieving process should look like & feel like to others. Did you know? In MRI's, rejection shows up in the brain in the same way that physical pain does. Here's a quote from the study: "When scientists placed people in functional MRI machines & asked them to recall a recent rejection, they discovered something amazing. The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain."
The question now is: Can we shift perspectives on what we perceive as emotionally painful? As in, making peace with rejection being a part of life & why it's important for us to be able to say no & hear no, for not only setting boundaries for ourselves but respecting the boundaries of others. As we become more comfortable in not taking rejection personally, we can become more comfortable with hearing no, we become more comfortable with saying no, & setting the necessary boundaries. We stop holding ourselves back, procrastinating, & worrying about if we're ready enough, good enough or adequate enough. We learn how to forgive ourselves for 'wasted' time & trust ourselves again to follow our intuition instead of our fears. Because our fears & intuition both want to keep us safe, the two can be easily confused, if we're not aware of the difference between anti-failure driven behavior vs pro-goal driven behavior. While we know that pain is a universal feeling, meaning everyone has felt pain- not everyone feels pain for the same reasons or in the same ways. Some people have higher pain tolerances, while others tolerate it less, & depending upon the circumstances, some might not feel capable of feeling connected at all. Because it's felt differently by everyone, it's often of no use to compare our experience to the experiences of others & yet, there will be those that attempt to measure your pain tolerance allowance based on how it felt for them. This false sense of measuring is where the disconnect begins. It insinuates that because I didn't feel this badly, then you shouldn't either & you should "get over it" or "man up" because pain is weakness. In the interim, instead of tears, there is often an outward display of anger because it's more acceptable to shows signs of aggression instead of submission, with 1 in 10 men suffering from Intermittent Explosive Disorder (aka rage). In some cases, our pain makes others feel uncomfortable because they can't help us with it & it makes them feel helpless, hopeless, or powerless. In other cases, people (often parents) are afraid when they realize they have a child that is either more sensitive to pain or expressive in their pain/emotions, & they're afraid of the repercussions involved with bullying or being ostracized & made fun of because you're "different." Because of societal norms, different isn't necessarily praised as a good thing if you're not fitting with everybody else. I'm not trying to be an apologist to parents that "roughed up" their children to toughen them up for "the real world" & make them less sensitive, I'm simply stating that most of them truly believe that they were doing their best in trying to make their lives easier for them by not necessarily trying to make them fit in, but trying to make sure they understood the repercussions (from others) if they stood out. The concern with that is, that pain then becomes internalized. According to a research study, the suicide rate for men is at its highest rate since the end of the second world war. Men are also less likely to report Intimate Partner Violence, seek therapy, or seek help about sexual abuse. "Manning up" & teaching boys not to cry, not to speak about their feelings, or not to express their emotions can have long term effects on their mental health. As parents, (or when working with kids) we can make the decision to create a safe space in which children don't need to feel like they have to suck it up or man up, but simply show up as themselves without pain-shaming, & giving them the freedom to be themselves & the gift of your full acceptance. Stress is a normal & natural response of the body. Prolonged or chronic stress, however, could have overall negative effects by actually changing the brain. While it’s true that we all are equipped with different tolerance levels for stress based on our individual perception of it & our capabilities & coping mechanisms to handle it, we might not be fully aware of how it might be effecting us behind the scenes, as a result.
Which brings me to this quote: “Now if we think about it, there is some intelligence that is giving us life that is keeping our heart beating. It’s the same intelligence that is digesting our food, breaking down food into nutrients & taking that food & organizing it to repair the body. All of that is taking place without us being conscious of it.” Think of the other many things going on behind the scenes in our bodies that we’re not consciously aware of, such as the production of cortisol. We know that our body can produce it simply by thinking unpleasant or negative thoughts- whether it’s sudden or repetitious thinking. What we do know, is that the mind likes what’s familiar. We’ve become accustomed to comfort zones because we’d rather experience what’s familiar, even if/when it’s unpleasant. Could that also mean that we’ve become accustomed to, or perhaps addicted to familiar feelings like stress too? According to Dr Joe Dispenza, yes:
It’s become easier to find healthy outlets for our accumulated stress & negativity but people are busier now more than ever, leaving less time to tend to the maintenance of the mind/body/soul system This is why it’s important to make self-care a priority, even if we start with simply listening to this scientifically created & proven stress reducing song. As we build momentum in creating a healthy routine for reducing stress, it's important to acknowledge the many scientifically proven benefits of meditation, & how (& why) you should start incorporating them today. People talk a lot about how visibility & representation in the media is really important so that we can actively see ourselves being portrayed on film. & I spent a long time waiting for that moment. Until finally, a movie came out called The Sixth Sense. By the time the movie ended, I was in tears. I was able to identify with the child that saw spirits & also with the therapist trying to help him, as well as the mother that felt so confused by his ability, & also in her powerlessness of feeling unable to help him. This was THE movie I was waiting for. It’s true that it wasn’t some fairytale princess that gets captured & rescued by her prince, but it was the most realistic portrayal of representation I had ever seen or felt from a movie up until that point.
Even though this movie wasn’t based on true events, if you ask most adults that had these abilities as children, this film portrayed some pretty accurate experiences. Especially when the child asks the therapist, “How can you help me, if you don’t believe me?” It’s like trying to explain something that only you can feel & because it's uncommon, rare or unheard of, your experiences might get easily dismissed because there’s no valid or substantial proof. This is why the work of Dr Brian Weiss is so profound. He was your average psychiatrist, performing a form of hypnotherapy on a patient, that morphed into a past life regression of some sort & it shifted his entire career into becoming Past Life Therapy. & even though the spotlight was on Kevin Bacon in The Stir Of Echoes, his son is most definitely in tune & says to his father, “You’re awake now daddy, you ok? Don’t be afraid of it, daddy.” I was hoping they would’ve shared more from the son’s perspective although it was equally as important to show that adults, too, can have a shift in consciousness at any age. & even as adults, there’s not necessarily a readily available outreach for assistance- as depicted in the film, where he’s comforted by his much younger, yet much more experienced child. On the other hand, here’s where it can get complicated. There’s this gray area that a lot of people don’t want to touch. & because of this, when a documentary-series called Psychic Kids came out, it was good that they decided to get that covered. They had a Psychic Medium & a Clinical Psychologist doing intake & working with the kids the entire time. This show was a miracle for those kids to finally be able to see, identify & connect with other kids experiencing the same or similar things. There’s nothing like a long night of disturbed sleep from trying to process what just happened on your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, then waking up for school the next day, sitting through classes, taking tests, doing extra curricular activities & homework while trying to maintain this “normal” life & then doing it all again- night after night. Especially when you realize that the energy you encounter might feel intense, but doesn’t necessarily make it harmful. Sometimes, feelings like desperation can come across as intrusive because they require immediate attention. It wasn’t until I got older that I could actually appreciate the movie Ghost. When I had people showing up in ways that I could better understand, with a message for someone else, I felt Oda Mae’s pain :) but also Sam’s pain- who felt so stuck, confused & afraid-- as he mirrored the pain of his wife. I do believe we are moving more towards a space that is much more willing to investigate between the extremes that say either you are a witch or you have a mental illness if you have experiences with the deceased. & in the past, because those were often the options, & because we were afraid of both the experiences & the people having the experiences, then we push ourselves & others further back into the closet. **This is, not at all, suggesting to ignore any signs or symptoms of any mental illness & treatment from a medical professional. This is to state that there is now scientific proof of supernatural activity & its influence & effect on people. Other resources: Advice to Parents of Children who are Spontaneously Recalling Past Life Memories https://med.virginia.edu/perceptual-studies/resources/advice-to-parents-of-children-who-are-spontaneously-recalling-past-life-memories/ Birthmarks and Birth Defects Corresponding to Wounds on Deceased Person https://med.virginia.edu/perceptual-studies/wp-content/uploads/sites/360/2016/12/STE39stevenson-1.pdf About 10 years ago, I attended a religious ceremony where a young boy had his head shaved. The ritual was done for removing any past life impurities. For religions that believe in reincarnation, such things are put into place & practiced as second nature. But in Western Culture, most people do not believe (let alone practice) anything to do with reincarnation or past lives. Therefore, when people claim to recall past life memories such as flash-backs or vivid dreams, there is no help for them readily available to process their experiences.
Up until recently, that is. Dr Jim Tucker is a Child Psychiatrist that studies cases of children who claim they remember (& are affected by) their past lives. He follows the work of Dr Ian Stevenson, who made the connection between children's birthmarks linking to their wounds from their previous lives as well. The research & the work is out there, as is the evidence, but this is not a widely accepted topic in our society, so it's ignored, mocked, or explained-away. We are not ready, prepared, or equipped to have such conversations in a traditional therapy environment. We just recently (finally) acknowledged biological trauma, with some sources still trying to debunk it. We are nowhere near ready to tell people their past life memories (or current experiences) are valid. For example, in the movie The Sixth Sense, Cole asks the Psychologist that’s trying to help him process his experience of seeing spirits, “How can you help me if you don’t believe me?” & that is the question most people face when dealing with experiences that hit up against the wall of unmeasurable data. In relation to movies, it's also not portrayed very much, if at all. If there is a documentary or interview, there is almost always horror movie music being played in the background. If it's a film, it's most often portrayed as a romantic comedy involving soulmates. You can also find many horror movies & psychological thrillers that show traumatized spirits, but not very many on reincarnation- or at least not in such a way that shows how & why people are being affected by it or how they are handling it. For example, the ongoing work of Dr Brian Weiss. He talks a lot about how the medical community began to distance themselves from him & his work when he went from traditional psychiatry work into past life regression work. Stumbling upon it 'by accident' during a routine hypnotherapy session, he found himself in the midst of a regression session that was from a different time- yet traceable to source. His work gained popularity due to the publishing of his book by Hay House & his appearance on Oprah. While many people in Western Culture remain skeptical on topics such as life after death & rebirth, or quickly attribute such experiences& memories as pseudoscience, it's important we acknowledge the people that do have these experience- be it personal or professional, & start creating a safe space for those of us, especially, that have had both. |